suelick
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Registered: 01-2005
Posts: 63
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Writing while caregiving
I'm thinking about writing an article on writers who are also caregivers for ailing parents or spouses. My husband has Alzheimer's, and this is making it harder and harder to keep up my writing career. Has anyone else experienced this kind of thing, and do you have any advice for how to keep writing in spite of one's caregiving obligations?
Sue
--- Sue Lick
http://www.suelick.com
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3/20/2007, 9:05 pm
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Firlefanz
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Registered: 05-2003
Location: Germany
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Re: Writing while caregiving
Sue, I'm sorry that I have no real suggestions for you.
I still wanted to say that I admire the hard work and effort you're putting in for your husband. Caregivers are people I have great respect for.
--- - Firlefanz
Reading: "Tabula Rasa", SF Anthology
Writing: "Kiera und der Gauklerjunge" - novel
Mystical Adventures
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3/21/2007, 3:16 am
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wanda7
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Registered: 02-2005
Location: Pacific Northwest
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Re: Writing while caregiving
Wow, Sue! Of all the diseases, I think Alzheimers presents the most difficulties for care givers.
In terms of keeping up your writing, it's hard to know what to say. I know that some organizations offer respite care so that care givers can have time for themselves. Maybe if you're getting some time free, you could use it for writing.
Other than that, short periods of writing exercises and such to keep yourself limber may lead to other opportunities for exploring and maintaining your writing life.
I'm impressed! Truly. I have trouble maintaining a writing life and all I have to worry about is cats and dinner.
Wanda
--- Reading: On Equilibrium (John Ralston Saul), Saving Fish From Drowning (Amy Tan)
Writing: Three Bags Full and various short stories
Living life large, loving with compassion
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3/21/2007, 12:48 pm
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suelick
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Registered: 01-2005
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Re: Writing while caregiving
Thanks, you guys. Alzheimer's sucks. Caregiving is not really something you volunteer for, but when it happens, you just do it. The question is how to keep writing. I'm still doing articles and books, but I never get to that big pile of fiction starts that I want to finish, nor can I get enough time to think things through the way they need to be thought. Also, I find I'm too tired. When I do get respite, only a few hours a week, I find myself catching up on errands, going to the gym or sitting like a blob in front of the TV. God knows how I'm going to promote my books this summer.
Whining aside, I think I need to lean more toward the types of writing I can do in spurts, more fiction, poetry and essays and fewer articles that require research. That may all wind up being for the better.
Thanks for your support.
Sue
P.S. I know it's a lot like caring for children, but children grow up and become more independent. With sick grownups, it's the other way around.
--- Sue Lick
http://www.suelick.com
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3/21/2007, 4:55 pm
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SFGirl
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Registered: 01-2004
Location: Nova Scotia, Canada
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Re: Writing while caregiving
Sue, I haven't had the full care of anyone older myself, but I spent the last few years watching my mother look after both her aging parents and my aunt (who was vision-impaired and wheelchair-bound). Living next door, I helped out as I could, but it was never full-time. But I do have a little understanding of what it must be like and I know how difficult it is to have only small spurts of "down time," and to never know when one is going to be called upon.
I suppose you've already considered what other activities you might be able to let go for a while (apart from writing), if there are any. What about family or friends who might be able to step in once in a while? I know that the feeling of responsibility can be high, but you don't have to do *everything* on your own. It's okay to ask for help.
And while you're right that being a writer with children gets progressively easier as they age, I suppose that in some ways it's like writing when they're small--one does have to learn to prioritize writing and fit it in whenever possible. But you probably already know all that.
You may be right on the fiction thing--it is a form of writing that (depending on the project) is generally lighter on the research requirements and easier to work on mentally while doing other things--like showering or working out at the gym! Personal essays about your experiences might be good, too--you might find them helpful to write for yourself as well as readers. And you are living your research for that.
I guess I don't have much to add except that we're here for you if you need a shoulder or an ear.
Keep us posted on how you are getting along.
{{hugs}}
Sherry
--- Web: www.sherrydramsey.com / www.thescriptorium.net
Reading: The Light-Bearer's Daughter by O.R. Melling
Writing: rewrite of The Seventh Crow
Drawing: Fairy Gossip
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3/22/2007, 1:10 pm
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Lady Romance
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Registered: 10-2006
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Re: Writing while caregiving
Hi! Firstly, I'm very sorry to hear what you and your hubby are going through. That's the one thing that really scares me.
I know this isn't the same, but I know a little of what you are going through. I have been taking care of my parents for awhile. My mom had a knee replacement surgury in January, and I had to be there for both my parents, as my dad is bed ridden. My dad is now recovering from his 5th bout of phneomonia. He's had other medical problems as well, so things have been stressful for me.
It is very hard keeping up the spirit for writing when you feel both physically and mentally drained. In my down time I jot down notes or think of a scene in my head. That way when I get to serious work, I've got a plan. I like to also read in my down time, as it keeps my love going for the written word going, as well as inspires me.
Take care! I hope I may have helped, even just a little bit. Keep us posted.
*Hugs*
Kerry
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4/11/2007, 4:41 pm
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